You Are Not Alone

There are more than 50 million people in the United States caring for loved ones 18 years of age of older. And there are at least another 10 million caring for loved ones with special needs, younger than 18.

You definitely are not alone! We know at times it is difficult to believe that. Being a family caregiver can be a very lonely endeavor, especially if you have little or no chance for social interaction with others. But at some point in the not too distant future virtually every family in America will be involved in some form of family caregiving.

What Does Caregiving Mean?: See some of the realities that will be effecting you while caring for others

Caregiving Statistics: See the growing number of statistics that show the effect caregiving is having on America

We know that isn't very comforting when you are feeling all alone and wondering why friends or family seem to have turned away. But knowing that you aren't the only one thinking and feeling the way you do can at least help you breath a sigh of relief that on top of everything else you aren't losing your mind.

A lot of people don't want to be around someone who is sick. Some friends may never call or stop by again.
- Josh Sparber, Anaheim, CA

We've often wondered what it is about caregiving situations that frighten our friends away, and we've decided it is that our lives are a mirror in which they see what could possibly happen to them and their loved ones, and because the picture is scary they turn away. They don't know how to react in our presence, what to talk about, how to be with us. We can't do the things we used to do. We are less mobile, less socially nimble. Perhaps a brain injury means our spouse is no longer a charming conversationalist, or our sister has spasms and cannot talk clearly. We can't do things on the spur of the moment anymore now that mom is living with us and can't be left alone.

No one wants to think about adversity. No one wants to see it staring them in the face. And yet that is what people need to do if they are going to be our friends. They will have to put their fears aside and learn how to maneuver a wheelchair and possibly learn how to communicate with us in a new way. That's why they are friends, and we will cherish them all the more for sticking by us because we know that so many others have a hard time dealing with our changed situation and will drift away.