 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|||||||||||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||||||||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|||||||||||
 |
Stage 4: I am still helping!
You've been a caregiver for more than five years. You've been through it all: hospital admission and discharges; short-term rehab stays in nursing homes; a vast array of community services. You may appear to doubt the advice given by health care professionals; you've just been through the health care system long enough to know that sometimes health care professionals may not seem to have your best interests in mind.
Some family members and health care professionals worry about your ability to find humor in situations they find offensive. They view your attitude as "calloused" and "uncaring." Far from it, you have a very practical, very realistic approach toward your caregiving role--and your sense of humor has been a critical tool for your survival. Without your sense of humor, you would have given up a long time ago.
Stage 4 Keyword: Welcome
Welcome the joys of your relationship; welcome forgiveness (of yourself, of your care recipient, of other family members and friends); welcome shared activities.
Your Purpose During Stage 4:
To gain a better understanding of yourself and your care recipient. You've settled into your role and your routine; now is your opportunity to step back and reflect. The first three stages laid the groundwork for this stage, your period of personal growth.
Some steps you can take during Stage 4:
1. Work on finding joy in your relationship with your caregiver.
The biggest joy-killers are your hands-on duties: bathing, dressing, incontinence care. But these duties bring you together, this is your time together. Add some fun to your hands-on care: sing songs, tell jokes, share goals and dreams.
2. Work on forgiving your care recipient for past hurts.
Resentment toward past wrongs and injustices will make your present caregiving role very difficult. Let go of what was and concentrate on making what is healthy and productive.
3. Develop a habit of enjoying shared activities.
Develop a routine of time shared as husband-wife, mother-daughter, father-son rather than as just caregiver and care recipient. Releasing the roles of caregiver and care recipient allows you to enjoy each other.
4. Begin to think about your future.
What goals have you yet to achieve? How can you achieve them? Can your care recipient help you achieve them?
Stage 1. I may help a relative soon.
Stage 2: I am beginning to help.
Stage 3: I am helping.
Stage 4: I am still helping!
Stage 5: My role is changing.
Stage 6: My caregiving has ended.