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Top 10 Questions
- My parents live in a different state than I do. How do I locate the home care services they need?
- Are there reputable Web sites where I can find information and resources, and perhaps even some support?
- A friend of mine is taking care of her mother all by herself. She insists that it's no one's responsibility but her own, but I know she is really overwhelmed. How can I help?
- My mother died several years ago and my elderly father is no longer able to live by himself. My husband and I have decided to have him live with us rather than sending him to a nursing home, and we want to make sure everything is ready when he comes. What are some of the things we need to anticipate - for his well being and ours?
- My sisters and brothers have left me with all the responsibilities of caring for my aging parent. Any suggestions on how I can get them involved?
- I'm feeling really stretched between my job and all the things I need to do for my parent. How do I approach my employer about this situation so that she knows I care about my responsibilities at work as well as those at home?
- I know I would feel better about taking care of my spouse if I just had an afternoon each week to myself. How can I find organizations that provide respite care?
- There never seems to be enough hours in the day. The second I get a handle on things, something new crops up and I feel overwhelmed all over again. What can I do to get organized?
- How can I figure out what long-term care services my insurance will cover?
- I'm concerned that my husband's health care needs are going to cost us all of our savings and we won't have anything left to live on. Is there any help available for financial planning/support in our situation?
Q1. My parents live in a different state than I do. How do I locate the home care services they need?
A. UAs a general recommendation, we suggest contacting the county office of senior services or elder affairs, area adult day centers, and/or local social service agencies. These numbers should be located in the blue pages of the phone book in your parents' local area. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) can also provide contact information for state and county agencies based on your parents' zip code.Other sources are listed on links below.
Elder Care Resources
Home Care Resources
Q2. Are there reputable Web sites where I can find information and resources, and perhaps even some support?
A. There is a vast amount of information on the Internet, so finding trusted, credible sources is key. We have identified the most reputable sources for you to find help.
Web site Resources
Q3. A friend of mine is taking care of her mother all by herself. She insists that it's no one's responsibility but her own, but I know she is really overwhelmed. How can I help?
A. You've already taken a giant first step by visiting our Web site — familycaregiving101.org. We've designed this site as a way for caregivers to realize the impact that caregiving has on them and to help them understand there is help out there. You can alert your friend to this site by visiting the Refer-A-Caregiver section. There are also tips to help you communicate with and provide assistance to your friend.
Signs of Struggle
Communicating with Caregivers
Q4. My mother died several years ago and my elderly father is no longer able to live by himself. My husband and I have decided to ask him to live with us rather than looking into assisted living sending him to a nursing home, and we want to make sure everything is ready when he comes. What are some of the things we need to anticipate — for his well-being and ours?
A. There will definitely be some adjustments for all of you, so it's a great idea to do some planning prior to your father's arrival. There are many resources available to help you determine what changes may be needed to your home, what caregiving tasks you may be uncomfortable performing, and most importantly, where to look for help.
Assess Your Abilities
Q5. My sisters and brothers have left me with all the responsibilities of caring for my aging parent. Any suggestions on how I can get them involved?
A. We're glad you asked. You'll provide better care for your parent by not trying to do everything yourself. Click here for advice on communicating your needs to both family and friends.
How to Communicate your Needs
Q6. I'm feeling really stretched between my job and all the things I need to do for my parent. How do I approach my employer about this situation so that she knows I care about my responsibilities at work as well as those at home?
A. You're not alone! Nearly 60 percent of working caregivers have had to make some sort of adjustment to their work schedule--coming in late or leaving early; dropping back to part-time; passing up promotions. Seventeen percent even take unpaid leaves of absence. Nine percent either take early retirement or leave the workforce entirely.
Some employers have programs to help caregiving employees. Even some small or mid-sized employers offer flex-time or compressed work weeks. Or they may offer brown-bag "lunch and learn" seminars on topics like Alzheimer's or how to deal with caregiving over the holidays. Larger employers may offer enhanced resource and referral programs or even geriatric care manager services to help employees with complex home situations.
At a minimum, the person responsible for Human Resources at your Employer should be able to describe what existing employee benefits may help you to balance your job and your caregiving responsibilities.
Caregiving Skills
Q7. I know I would feel better about taking care of my spouse if I just had an afternoon each week to myself. How can I find organizations that provide respite care?
A. You're right — even an hour or two can make a big difference. Here's a list of some organizations that can help you find respite care in your city.
Respite Resources
Q8. There never seems to be enough hours in the day. The second I get a handle on things, some thing new crops up and I feel overwhelmed all over again. What can I do to get stay ahead of things?
A. We have a list of suggestions for managing your time, because every caregiver feels like you do.
Time Management Skills
Q9. How can I figure out what services my insurance will cover?
A. Unless your relative has specific long-term care insurance, many home care needs unfortunately may not be covered. For guidance on dealing effectively with your insurance company and for help finding other resources that may be available for home care, just click the links below.
Navigating the Healthcare Maze
Financial Advice
Home Care Resources
Literature
Web site Resources
Q10. I'm concerned that my husband's health care needs are going to cost us all of our savings and we won't have anything left to live on. Is there any help available for financial planning/support in our situation?
A. A lot of caregivers find themselves in this situation. It's important to start thinking about your finances before it's too late. In addition to some private organizations, there are county and state agencies as well as volunteer health agencies that offer financial support programs.
Financial Advice